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I'm not sure I'm ready to settle down, or maybe I am, but not with Steve? It's hard to explain, but I've just been having so many doubts. I cherish the time we spend apart, more so than the time together. Which is a lot because he is in Minot and I'm in Bismarck. Not to mention there's the fact that one of my former flings/Ex's, whichever way you prefer to look at it, has recently come waltzing back into my life and of course, I've never officially gotten over him, which makes it that much more difficult to be 100% for Steve, when I'm also like 90% for Jason... Maybe that makes me a bad person, or maybe it makes me normal, being only 20 years old and very very confused. I think it's all just a part of life, and that perhaps it isn't meant to be with me and Steve.
Actually I'm pretty sure about that because I was comtemplating something the other day, very seriously mind you, and I didn't really think of how it would affect him, but rather everyone else, which is strange since I'm engaged to him. Hm.. And obviously the thing I happened to be contemplating has not yet occured, sicne I'm typing this from a friend's house. Silly. I don't wish to divulge what it was I happened to be thinking on, but I'm sure there are some of you out there with a brain in your heads and you will be able to figure it out.
Hmm.. I'm not really sure what else to say. I'm really really overheated right about now. It's very warm in here, I think they finally turned the heat on, in September finally. But it's only been getting like high 40's to 50's in the evening/overnight. So that's not that cold. Grab a blanket and a warm body to cuddle to you and you don't need to turn the heat on!! Crazy people. That's just my philosophy.
"Cuddle Whenever You Can"
But I'm off to check the whole myspace page.
Word up peeps. Naw, just kidding. So anyway. I'm engaged!!!!! That's super exciting to me! Anyway.. His name's Steve. I love this boy so much it's ridiculous. Anyway, not too terribly much going on in my life. gots all kinds of court coming up 'cuz I'm an idiot and with these courts comes the whole jail thing that might or might not be happening. Scary. :S I'm not looking forward to this at all!!! I don't really know what to do but I guess if y'all could pray for me that'd be great, um, I forgot what I was doing oh hey!
If you all wanna see my pics ( I have a bunch of new ones) go to www.myspace.com/xugliegurliex
